The Valia Pairs

You know what 'The Valia Pairs' is?
No, it's not a duo.
No, it's not a shoe brand.
No, it's not movie, or song, or album, or something else.
It's just the anagram of my name.

I can make some Indonesian and English phrases from my name:

"Paha Avi steril."

"Arphat is alive!"

"Ipah, a live star."

"Save Phil art."

"Via lahir pesta."

"Terapi HIV asal."

Oh I really loveeeeeeeee..... ANAGRAM!!
And I can also make lots of names from my very name, Astari Pahlevi:

Valeria Spaith (my fav and the first anagram I've ever created from my name)
Eva Sitar Pahil
Sherpa Livaita (sounds like a himalayan hiking guide)
Asti Rahel Pavi
Patrisha Aviel
Levita Hapsari (yeah I can be Nindy Hapsari, my BFF's sister)
Alvi Prasethia
Pavel Irahatsi
Vira Theapalis
Avril Sahetapi
Raphael Ivista
Aratvis Paheli
Alesia Phraivt
Veta Alpharisi
Alistair Pheav
Aretha Vilaspi
Pahit Asarvile
Ariesti Phalav
Pevita Sahrial
Arthesa Pavili
Paris Vethalia
Arthesia La Piv
Arsheti Palavi
Pilaar Heivast
Prita Ashivela
Arshila Patevi
Sarah Pletivia

Oh come on, I have to stop this list. I can write a novel just to mention all of my name's anagrams.
I'm so good in anagram you know? Yeah it's irritating to hear, but it's so true. Look, such a wonderful names.

Kunci membaca bahasa aneh ciptaan Astari Pahlevi

Kuncinya adalah menggeser semua vokal berdasarkan urutan abjad. Huruf 'y' dimasukkan ke dalam golongan vokal karena seringkali huruf 'y' dibaca sebagai vokal.
a --> e --> i --> o --> u --> y --> a
Contoh: Astari Pahlevi = Estero Pehlivo

Dengan menggeser huruf vokal ini kita akan membuat bahasa inggris terdengar seperti bahasa jerman atau prancis.
Contoh: A quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. = E qyock bruwn fux jymps uvir thi leza dug.

Bahasa indonesia jadi bahasa nepal (hehe sotoy).
Contoh: Selamat mencoba menggunakan bahasa aneh ini. = Silemet mincube minggyneken behese enih ono.

Lalu geser juga konsonannya.
b --> c --> d --> f --> g --> ...dst... z --> b

Contoh: Astari Pahlevi = Etveso Qejmiwo

A quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. = E ryodl csuxp guz kynqt uwis vji meba fuh.
Selamat mencoba menggunakan bahasa aneh ini. = Timenev nipduce niphhypelep cejete epij opo.

Menggunakan ponsel (model lama, bukan bb) bisa sangat membantu. :)

wassalam = xettemen
bye! = cai!
arrivederci! = essowifisdo!
adios! = efout!
au revoir! = ey siwuos!
merci boucoup = nisdo cuyduyq

Bizy cefaraq saqot goqod-goqodmuy

Coba digeser terus huruf-hurufnya.

Duce fohitis visyt jysyg-jysygpae.

Fydi gujovot wotav katah-katahqei.

Gafo hykuwuv xuvew levej-levejrio.

Hegu jalyxyw zywix miwik-miwiksou.

Jihy kemazax baxoz noxol-noxoltuy.

Koja linebez cezub puzum-puzumvya.

Luke mopicib dibyc qybyn-qybynwae.

Myli nuqodoc focad racap-racapxei.

Namo pyrufud gudef sedeq-sedeqzio.

Penu qasygyf hyfig tifir-tifirbou.

Qipy retahag jagoh vogos-vogoscuy.

Roqa sivejeh kehuj wuhut-wuhutdya.

Sure towikij lijyk xyjyv-xyjyvfae.

Tysi vuxolok mokal zakaw-zakawgei.

Vato wyzumul nulem belex-belexhio.

Wevu xabynym pymin cimiz-cimizjou.

Xiwy zecapan qanop donob-donobkuy.

Zoxa bideqep repuq fupuc-fupuclya.

Buze cofiriq siqyr gaqad-gaqadmae.

Percakapan Logo UPH (kenang-kenangan masa kuliah)

Logo UPH, berupa seekor burung (ceritanya burung rajawali) sedang nangkring di buku (yang ceritanya alkitab tapi sama sekali ngga keliatan di mana alkitabnya...hehe), di dalam lingkaran merah dan ada tulisannya 'Universitas Pelita Harapan'. Ya iyalah. Masak Bhineka Tunggal Ika?

Nah, kami, para mahasiswa UPH, biasa menyebutnya dengan logo 'Burung'.
Logo burung tersebut harus kami letakkan di bagian depan tugas apapun yang berupa paper, skripsi, makalah, laporan, dan apapun yang dijilid.

Tidak semua anak UPH memiliki logo tersebut di atas. Maka, operator di tempat percetakan di kampus biasanya menyimpan logo tersebut dalam berbagai warna dan ukuran. Ada logo yang berwarna seperti di atas, ada yang hitam-putih. Logo yang hitam-putih itu ada yang si burung berwarna hitam, ada yang si burung berwarna putih.

Maka, ketika saya dan teman-teman ingin mencetak tugas-tugas berupa makalah, kami akan meminta logo itu kepada mas-mas operator.

Mahasiswi (Mi): "Mas, mas, punya burung kan, Mas? Mau ya, Mas, dimasukin burung di sini." (maksudnya di bagian depan/cover tugas)
Mas-mas operator (Mo): "Oh ya Kak. Mau yang berwarna atau item-putih?"
Mi: "Yang item-putih aja, Mas. Yang burungnya item ya, Mas."
Mo: "Yang ini saya masukin, ya?"
Mi: "Mas jangan gede-gede, Mas, burungnya 4 cm aja, nanti nggak muat, soalnya tempatnya sempit."
Mo: "Oh ya, Kak. Ini masukin di sini?"
Mi: "Iya. Dinaikin dikit, Mas. Naaahhh...., gitu Mas."

Selanjutnya, dicetaklah tugas dan covernya.

tambahan: Seorang mahasiswa lalu datang ke tempat percetakan tersebut.
Mahasiswa (Ma): "Mas, saya juga mau minta burungnya, dong."
Mi: : "Loh, lo sendiri bukannya udah punya?"
Mo: "Mas, kan udah saya kasih kemarin?"
Ma: "Iya, tapi punya gue kecil banget, pas digedein pecah."

Cejete epij opo (Gicsyesa 8, 2007)

Qisvene lemopae ely nipinylep cejete ludel opo.

Hari ini adalah pertama kalinya aku menciptakan bahasa aneh di atas. Tebak saja bagaimana membacanya. Mudah sekali kok.

Jeso opo efemej qisvene lemopae ely nipdoqevlep cejete epij fo evet. Vicel teke ceheonepe nincedepae. Nyfej tilemo lul.

Ini = opo

Itu = ovy

Aku = ely (netral), hyi (informal), teae (formal)

Kamu = leny (netral), imu (informal), epfe (formal)

Dia = foe (netral), cimoey (formal)

Kami = leno

Kita = love

Kalian = lemoep

Mereka = nisile

Ibu = ocy/nene/nel/cypfe

Bapak = ceqel/qeqe/ceci/eaej

Anak = epel

“Henae seae den ende aeng eken mingirto behese ono.

Cyme gyi seme lu aeng bose ngirto noh behese.”

                                             +

“Japya taya fap apfa yaph alap nephesvi cajata ipi.

Duna hue tana mo yaph cita phesvi pij cajata.”

                                             =

“Jepae teae fep epfe aeph elep niphisvo cejete opo.

Dyne hyi tene mu aeph cote phisvo poj cejete.”

Nyfej foniphisvo lep? Tileseph, codesemej fiphep cejete ypol opo.

Ca: Etveso Qejmiwo

Just the Way I Am, just another version

Oh your eyes, your eyes
Make the shits look like they're so shining
Your hair, your hair
Falls perfectly all on the floor

You're not beautiful
And I tell you every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I be honest to you
You wont believe me
I don't care, don't care
That you don't see what I see

But every time you ask me do you look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's no thing that I would stare
Cause you're not amazing
Just the way I am
And when you smile,
The whole world stops to make you cry
Cause you're not amazing
Just the way I am

Gay Stripper (from the Beatles 'Day Tripper')

Got a good reason for taking the clothes way off

Got a good reason for taking the clothes way off now

He was a gay stripper, a slutty one yeah

It took me so... long to find out, and I found out

He's a big teaser, he took me half naked there

He's a big teaser, he took me half naked there now

He was a gay stripper, a slutty one yeah

It took me so... long to find out, and I found out

Tried to please him, he only played for a man

Tried to please him, he only played for a man now

He was a gay stripper, a slutty one yeah

It took me so... long to find out, and I found out

Gay stripper

Gay stripper, yeah!

Gay stripper

Gay stripper, yeah!

Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are, Astari's version (cruel and narcissistic version)

Oh my eyes, my eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
My hair, my hair
Falls perfectly without I'm trying

I'm so beautiful
And I tell you every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment me
You wont believe me
I don't care, don't care
That you don't see what I see

But every time you ask me do you look okay
I say

When I see your face
There're lots of things that I would change
Cause you're not amazing
Just the way I am
And when you smile,
The whole world won't stops or even stares
Cause you're not amazing
Just the way I am